August 24: 9:48 PM
David: before I go to bed, I want to say,
that book, Experiencing God, is incredible.
It’s such a blessing.
I find myself thinking all day long about what I’m learning
Betsy: praise God!
me: How are you, David? Good week?
though not that simple
me: Life is not simple. are you chatting with Sarah?
she’s about to go somewhere
me: We are trying to go bike riding because the day is so beautiful but Sam’s chain is broken. So I should go help him.
Just checking in to see how you are.
August 30: 9:51 AM
me: Good morning. How are you doing?
David: pretty good!
me: Yeah! I saw Chris on Saturday he told me about his time with you on Thursday at VCU. I was practically jumping up and down.
So have you been baptized in the Holy Spirit?
God is very excited about you!
David: not yet and I’m not sure what to make of it all.
so he told you about praying on the sidewalk?
Yes, I remember my first experience with the baptism of the Holy Spirit was at a Kathryn Kulman conference. I confused and a little scared. I thought she was pushing everyone over and didn’t understand why everyone was in awe.
I’ve written a bit on it in the Doctorian book.
Here is the chapter: I just had it open because I sent Sarah a chapter on money that just happened to be the chapter before this one. Here it is:
Baptized In the Holy Ghost, From God Will Not Fail You by Samuel Doctorian with Elizabeth Moll Stalcup
I had such close fellowship with the Lord while I was enrolled in the Bible school in Jerusalem. It was there that I learned to give my studies to God. I would pray every time I opened a book, asking the Lord to help me learn. When I finished reading, I would close the book and ask God to help me remember what I had learned. It was at the Bible school that I realized that I needed to be baptized. I obeyed and was baptized in the Jordan River in front of about 80 people from the Alliance church and many other. friends. Twelve of us were baptized that day. I was the youngest and last to be baptized. On that day, I testified that I was willing to die for Jesus and to live for Him forever. It was a glorious day, one of the greatest days of my life.
Even after I was baptized in water, I felt that something was missing. I was serving the Lord. I was teaching the junior class in Sunday School, I was the treasurer for two societies and I had a burden for lost souls, but something was not quite right. The boys and girls in my Sunday school class looked up to me to guide their spiritual life, even though I was only a few years older than they were, but I felt that something was lacking in my heart.
Many times I felt that I had failed the Lord, and failed my friends, teachers and family. I would be bitter or proud or overcome with jealousy. I would feel a burning hatred toward someone who had wronged me. I was always going from brother to brother, morning and night, asking them to forgive me.
“Surely,” I said to God one day, “You do not want me to live this way—troubled by wrong thoughts. Lord, I belong to You; why is it so hard for me to overcome my weaknesses?”
I did not know what I needed, but I knew Who to go to. I knew Who would bless my heart. I knelt in my little room, in the place where I had prayed for the sixty pounds. I wanted something better, something richer and deeper. I was praying and reading Acts, Chapter 2, where I read, “And the Holy Ghost came down.” What, I wondered, is this?
“Lord,” I said, “I do not remember anything like this ever happening to me. I believe I have Your Spirit within me because I am saved, but I have never had the Holy Spirit come on me with the power the way it is described here in Your Word.”
I was not so interested in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, such as tongues, or miracles, or healings, or prophecy. I simply wanted the Giver, the Holy Spirit himself, to fall on me with power. I needed anointing. I needed unction from on high.
“Lord,” I said, “I want Him. Let the Holy Spirit come upon me.”
As soon as I prayed that prayer, the Spirit began to deal with me. He showed me things in my life that I needed to make right. Certain brothers I had grieved whom I needed to ask for forgiveness. Certain things for which I needed to make restitution. Certain books I had to burn. Certain pictures I must not keep. He began to cleanse me inside and out.
When you allow the Holy Spirit to work, He does His work perfectly. At once he began to show me what I had to do, the price I had to pay, and the consecration I must be willing to make to receive more of Him.
Lastly, He said to me, “Samuel, are you willing to love your enemies?” At first, I thought that I did not have any enemies, but then I remembered the people who had murdered my loved ones. When I heard the Holy Spirit asking me if I was willing to love them, I was afraid that if I said I was willing that He would say to me, “All right then, Samuel, I want you to go and preach to them to prove to Me that you really love them.”
That thought terrified me. I knew I was not willing to go to the Muslims and tell them about Jesus. They had brutally murdered my loved ones! How could I love them?
Humanly speaking, it would not be possible. Those who are not yet sanctified cannot love their enemies unless they let God’s refining fire burn up every dross of sin. For two weeks I struggled. Over and over again, I said to God, “Lord, do not ask me that question, but give me the Holy Spirit.”
Every time God would say, “No. Not until you say that you are willing to love your enemies and hold nothing back.”
I was praying to a living God. I was desperate for the Holy Spirit. Finally one day, thanks be to God, I shouted at the top of my voice, “I love them, Lord! I love them!”
I laid everything on the altar. At that moment, the fire fell. The Holy Spirit came in power on me just like He fell on the disciples that first Pentecost. The fire began to burn in my heart, my mind, my whole spirit and my body. The wonderful Holy Spirit began to take possession of me. When I was saved I had the Spirit, but now the Spirit had me. What a difference! What a wonderful experience!
All this happened on April 30, 1946. I was sixteen years old and had only been in Bible school seven months. Once the Holy Spirit came upon me, my life was changed. My hands were different. My eyes were different. My whole being was lost in Christ. I could truly say, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me. . .” Galatians 2:20.
Looking back, I am thankful that I had not heard of the baptism of the Holy Spirit before I experienced it. In the west there are so many controversial arguments about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit; so many doctrinal differences, denominational barriers, and heartbreaks. I am glad that I did not know about all these troubles before the Holy Spirit fell on me. Let me tell you something: the more you argue about the Holy Spirit, the more you grieve Him. Today when people want to argue with me about the Holy Spirit, I simply tell them, “I do not know what you think about this subject, but I know what I have. It is a great blessing to my soul. I cannot deny it. God has done a great work in my heart.”
You can call it a “baptism,” or you can call it “entire sanctification,” or you can call it “consecration”—I do not care what you call it. But get the blessing. That is what the church of Christ needs today. Why should you live a Christian life that is so poor when you can be so rich? Why should you stay away from Pentecostal experience because some people have misrepresented Pentecost?
I am so grateful to have had this second experience of God. You can too. It will change your whole spiritual life. You see everything clearly. You are one with Jesus– full of the Holy Ghost. You have the gifts of God. You have the fruits of the Spirit within you. It is a tremendous experience.
* * *
The Lord Jesus, Who saved me, also baptized me with the Holy Ghost and with fire, and that fire has been burning in my life ever since that day on Prophet Street in Jerusalem. This power of the Holy Spirit that the Bible speaks about is not physical power. It is power to be an effective witness. It is power to win souls to Christ. It is power to love your enemies. It is power to live like Christ Jesus. It is power to overcome the devil and sin.
The Holy Spirit was promised by the Father; He was promised by Jesus. He is Biblical truth. He is practical; He is personal, and this experience of being filled to overflowing can happen to you while you are reading these lines. Allow Him to come in. It is the will of God. It is the call of God. It is the work of God that sanctifies you—your whole body, your soul and your spirit so that all will be preserved blameless for the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. “For faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it.” I Thessalonians 5:24.
It is the prayer of Jesus, the command of Jesus, that you might receive the power of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit wants to come and dwell in you so He can make you His holy temple. Are you willing to pay the price? Have you let the Holy Spirit fall on you?
You can receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit and you will know the difference. You will be different, changed, from the moment you receive the blessings of holiness. Allow Him to take full charge of your life, and you will be fruitful. You will become a great blessing and be a powerful witness.
Brothers and sisters, seek the second touch. Cross the second crossing. Let the second experience be yours. Let this rich grace of God happen to you. You will be richly restored, and see everything clearly.
David: This sounds familiar up to the point that he prays. I’m hesitating.
me: God will lead you, David. Just tell him about your concerns and what makes you hesitate. He will meet you where you are. He is not pushy. He draws us gently like a lover. He is the lover of our souls.
David: that’s another interesting point
what makes me hesitate
I feel like I don’t know. When Chris prayed for, me he mentioned “abandonment.”
I don’t know where that might be hiding in me
Uh. Oh. Fire alarm
that was obnoxious
this passage makes me wonder about the value of praying for someone to be baptized in the Holy Spirit, like Chris wanted to do for me
me: Well often someone who has something can impart it to another. Many times in the Bible people received the Holy Spirit by impartation, by someone laying hands on them and praying for them to receive it. But the person has to want it. God will not violate your will.